Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
