I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
