Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
