It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
