a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
