Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize