what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize
