Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
