I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
