How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
