we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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