how can u be prego again
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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