hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
