Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You can't motorboat a personality
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
