3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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