Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
