i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize