You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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