How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I've blown a few things in my day
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
