Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize