I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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