Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize