Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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