Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
