sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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