u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
