why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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