dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
