I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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