i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
