Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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