hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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