I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
