thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
