I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
