are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
