I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
