My pussy is not your playground.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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