Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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