I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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