turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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