Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Send help, water and tortillas.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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