i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
