Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
