I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize