I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
