I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
