Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
