Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
