Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
