he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
