I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
