brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
