So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
