We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
