bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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