Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
