If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
