ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You pole danced in your parka.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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