Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
