Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
