This is not my ceiling
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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