Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
