You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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