It's like a parade of train wrecks.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
50% drunk capacity currently
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
