My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
